The Boy Who Changed My Life

They say that it takes a village to raise a child. Well I have had the great fortune of, not only having a great village that has been raising me, but the incredible opportunity of being a substantial part of someone else’s “village”. You see, when I was in 6th grade, under vague circumstances of which I still am not 100% sure, my family got a foster boy- he was in kindergarten at the time. During the next three years of my life I realized that in life there are many times where you’ve got to put other people’s needs ahead of your own.


I was the youngest in my family, so I was not used to making sacrifices for others. However, when we got Chaz (that’s his name) it became clear to me that I would have to sacrifice a lot in order to give him a better childhood and start his new life. I gave up hours of my time to play with him, and I enjoyed it. He came to us broken, neglected, and rejected, and this had affected him in numerous ways.

At first, he was not very social to anyone: not my parents, my brothers, the other children in his grade, or even me. However, by playing with him whenever he wanted me to, I like to think that I gave him something that he hadn’t had before- someone who he could rely on. This helped him open up to everybody, not just me or my family. I was unaware of it at the time, but looking back on it, his life may have been very different had our paths not intersected.


It went on like this for a while: he would get periodical visits with his family members, but would always come back slightly angry, upset, or anti-social. Then we would spend the next week or so getting him back to normal, then the visit process would repeat. His parents were truly the only people left holding him back. Our family was always very kind and understanding to him, but his mother was a neglecting, angry person.


Finally, about a year and a half into the foster process, their (his mother and father’s) parental rights were terminated in court. They would be getting no more visits with Chaz. This was a big victory for everybody, and though it was a hard time for Chaz, he was the biggest winner of the day.


This meant our time with Chaz was winding down. And though it ended up being a slow process, the process for finding him a permanent home had, nonetheless, begun. It took about a year for a family that matched Chaz’s needs to step forward: in the Linn-Mar district with two strong, involved parental hopefuls, but alas they did.


The day after he left, it was very quiet in my house. Harrison, my oldest brother, was already at college and Alex, my other brother, was always off doing something. I was very lonely for a while, with nothing to do. But I also realized that we had changed Chaz’s life- that I had changed his life- with the sacrifices that we made.


Yes, they say it takes a village to raise a child, and from my experiences, I most definitely find this to be true. Not only have I had a great village to help raise me, but I have had the incredible fortune to become a substantial part of that village, learn to make sacrifices for another, and help change a child’s life forever.